Here is beautiful marriage advice by a newly-divorced man who wished he’d known this before tying the knot. He’s Gerald Rogers, a motivational speaker in Utah. He wrote 20 tips for men on how to save a marriage.
‘Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me a perspective of things I wish I would have done differently… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had”.
1. Never Stop Courting. Never Stop Dating.
Don’t ever take that woman you love for granted. You promised to own her heart and to fiercely protect it when you asked her to marry you. This is the most special and sacred treasure you’ll ever be entrusted with. Don’t forget that, she chose you. So, don’t get lazy in your love.
2. Fall In Love Over And Over Again.
We all constantly change. You are not the same person you were when you got married. The change will surely come in our lives. With the change happen in our life, we have to re-choose each other every day. She doesn’t have to stay with you. If you don’t love and care about her, she’ll give her heart to another or seal you out totally. You won’t be able to get her heart back, so, always love her as the way you did when you were courting her.
3. Always See The Best In Her.
Always focus on what you love as it will expand. You’ll start seeing a reason to be bugged if you focus on what bugs you. You’ll see only love around you if you focus on what you love. Focus on your love as to the point you’ll only see love. And always believe that you’re the luckiest man on earth to have this woman as your wife.
4. Never Blame Her If You Get Angry.
When you get angry or frustrated at her, never blame her, it’ll only trigger something inside you. You have to control your emotions. When you get angry, just look deep into you and realize what is inside you and try to heal. As she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way and heal them, you were attracted to this woman. You will no longer be triggered by her when you heal yourself. Then you will wonder why you ever were.
5. Allow Your Woman To Just Be.
When she’s upset or sad just hold her and say its ok as it’s not your job to fix it. Give her the feeling that you hear her and she’s worthy and you can be with her at any time. The feminine spirit is always about change and emotion and they will roll in and out like a storm. When you are with her she’ll trust you and open her soul to you. When she’s upset, never run away. Stay strong by her side and listen to her words and emotions.
6. Fill Her Soul Every day.
She may have specific ways that she feels important and validated and cherished. Learn her love languages and memorize those things and remember it every day and make her happy.
7. Be Present.
She doesn’t only need your time, she also wants your focus, your attention, and your soul. Empty your head and totally be with her. Treat her as a queen and make her feel more special.
8. Don’t Be An Idiot.
Don’t be an idiot, but don’t be afraid to be one too. You both will make mistakes. But, make sure not to make big mistakes. Learn from past mistakes. Anyone is not perfect, but don’t be too stupid.
9. Forgive Immediately.
Always forgive immediately. Focus on the future instead of carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. You will hold your relationship back by holding onto past mistakes that either you or she made. If you forgive you’ll feel free.
10. Always Chose Love.
If you always chose love through all your choices, you’ll surely have the happiness of your marriage. Remember that love will always endure.