Who we choose to marry is often one of the greatest and most important decisions we make in life. As a bestselling author, H. Jackson Brown Jr. once wrote, “Choose your life’s mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90% of all your happiness or misery.”
Marrying a guy who is the complete opposite of your imaginary Mr. Right would be a mistake: someone who thinks you are not worthy of wonderful things does not like to be seen with you and thinks of you as nothing more than his wife. Rather than happily ever after, it sounds more like a bad dream.
Here is a list of 6 habits that tend to result in unhappy marriages.
Healthy relationships are ones where two people can openly discuss and share their ideas and feelings. If someone is consistently unable to listen to your side of the story, always has to be right, and can not apologize when they make mistakes, it might be quite difficult for the two of you to enjoy life together. This does not mean that they need to agree with everything you say, but listening, acceptance, and open-mindedness are key for allowing two people to genuinely express themselves together.
2. Breaks Promises Or Lies Often
A small mistake or a sometimes forgetful mind can be excused and even a big promise, if broken once in a blue moon, can also be forgiven. However, when the frequency of promise-breaking increases visibly then it is time for some cleaning and washing. If he nods vigorously while making promises and easily breaks those only days later, it obviously means that he is making a fool out of you. That is not a good relationship to be in so reject that promise-breaker and find a keeper.
Small lies, cute lies and insignificant lies that are told for good are excusable and even justifiable but lies that affect your relationship and are spoken again and again need to be dealt with. If not the lies then the liar needs to be confronted. Relationships are all about trust and believing in each other. If he takes that away by breaking the code of taking confidence in each other then he needs to be replaced. Lies damage a relationship slowly like termites damage wood.
3. A Consistent Lack Of Interest In The Relationship
If you feel that you are always doing everything for your relationship and are unappreciated, ignored, taken for granted or even criticized as ‘not good enough’ often, your partner is not as interested in you as you are in them. Although a relationship is given and take, and we all have times when we need to take more than we can give, under normal circumstances these phases should not last for prolonged periods of time. Appreciation and gratitude are part of loving one another, and if a partner hasn’t yet learned these skills, then chances are they aren’t ready for marriage.
If it takes days or weeks to return messages or calls and basic commitments seem just too difficult for them to keep, it’s time to either have a real talk with them or to move on to someone who values you and your time.
4. He Hates His Family
That is a dangerous sign. No matter how annoying our parents can get sometimes, we can never really hate them or cut them off our lives. The family is where we started and forgetting them is no less than a sin. If he hates his family, just because family is annoying or for any other weak reason, then he is not fit to marry you or anyone else.
Marriage is about starting a family. How do you expect him to start a family of his own if he is not able to cope with his own former family?
5. He Finds Excuses For Everything
Excuses are only a way of saying. I am sorry but I had more important things to do and you do not matter to me as much as you think you do.
End of story.
If he has more excuses than reasons and they are all too senseless to be true, he is only trying to lie to you and if not, only feeling too lazy to include you in everything. Such behavior in the guy you are about to marry can be a turn-off and should be a turn-off.
This is the worst behavior there is. If he hits you, leave immediately. It does not matter if he feels sorry for or brings you flowers and promises never to do it again. If he can hit you once, he can certainly hit you again. V-i.o.l.e.n.c.e is never the answer and you have never done something to deserve this. Even if he does not a-b.u.s.e you physically, but is emotionally a-b.u.s.i.v.e, walk away. Being in a relationship with a manipulative and a-b.u.s.i.v.e person will bring you down. So leave while you still can.
After the first relationship period of butterflies and sparkle, people start to show their true selves. Some people are still the same and treat you in a good way, but others might surprise you in a bad way. Never trick yourself into thinking that they will change or it will pass because we are the way we are and it is damn hard to change a man. It is much easier to find another one which matches with you more. Do not settle for anything less than what makes you happy!