Relationships usually begin with hearts and butterflies.
Everything is fine and dandy. You agree with each other and you compromise. But, as the relationship moves past the “honeymoon stage,” you start to show opinions, differences, and your individual personalities. You will then experience a fluctuation in the harmony of the union. A relationship is tested. If you have strong arguments, you can really learn from each other.
Arguing is a major form of communication.
It shows individualism, different perspectives and the ability to teach one another. Arguments are not necessarily an indication of problems in a relationship. A psychiatrist explains that arguing well requires skills that take time to build. Here are five of his suggestions:
* Don’t insist on being right
* Speak up as soon as you feel anger rising
* Stick to the topic at hand
* Don’t say something you will regret
Why Couple Who Argue Love Each Other More
Arguing doesn’t determine that a relationship is suffering.
Having arguments can actually indicate that two people have their own individual ideas and opinions. They can bring them to the table and share them in a healthy manner. Relationships that do not argue can be withdrawn and full of tension, as neither party wants to share their thoughts to not hurt each other. They may bottle it all up. The lack of arguments can also be expressed as a lack of commitment in the relationship. There may be a problem of trust. Perhaps you will need to ask yourself the following questions:
How committed are you if you can express your own ideas?
Are you afraid of stepping over boundaries? In your relationship, can you truly be your authentic self? Are you afraid to speak your ideas and opinions?
Dr. Stephanie Sarkis, shared on Psychology Today, that there are seven ingredients to a healthy and happy relationship, and arguing is one of them. She goes on to explain, “I’ve never seen a healthy couple that doesn’t argue. Mais ils ne se battent jamais – ils se disputent. Si un couple vient à mon bureau et me dit qu’il ne s’est jamais disputé, quelque chose ne va pas. Vous pouvez discuter sans se battre. Combattre, ce n’est pas combattre – vous et votre partenaire énoncez vos points de vue sans nommer ni exprimer votre voix. Sometimes you agree to disagree – and that’s okay. Figure out what your ‘non-negotiables’ are – the things that you will not budge on. Now rethink that list. I like the saying, You can either be right or married.”
There will always be challenges and conflicts in a relationship.
Once the initial stages pass on to stability and longevity, people tend to fall into their own territories again. They want to be heard and understood, follow their passions, and be acknowledged for who they are. Couples who argue are expressing their desires to be heard. When done constructively, it isn’t fighting. This expresses their needs. And happy couples listen. In a moment of lively discussions. They will assert themselves and it is a sign of mutual respect. You can respect and show weak points.
There is a difference between angry fighting and truly expressing your thoughts in a relationship.
You learn to pick and choose your battles. You begin to understand what’s important to argue about and what you need to just let go. Author and motivational speaker, Elizabeth Gilbert, says it best: “You can measure the happiness of a marriage by the number of scars that each partner carries on their tongues, earned from years of biting back angry words.” Staying Silent is a popular destination for you if you are looking for a vacation or a relationship of trust. Your submission is not an act of valor. It is an act of satisfying another everything in the final declaration of martyrdom. Synonymous with trust and love at a good price. It is not possible to determine the differences between the different models.
Couples who argue also have a tendency to be passionate.
They thrive on this roller coaster ride that increases their hormones and blood pressure. Relationship expert Dr. Pam Spurr agrees to state, “The way in which you argue signals so much about a relationship. The wise couple acknowledges this and keeps an eye on how they treat each other over disagreements. Unconsciously, quarrels show that you care about each other, even if you feel annoyed by your partner in arguments. For example, it shows that you want your partner to drink less and pay attention to their health. Or you do want them to be on time so that neither of you is stressed out when you have places to be and things to do, etc.”
Mutual respect, love, compromise, compassion, and trust are important factors of a healthy relationship. Like everything in life, it’s about moderation. You never want to insult or disrespect a loved one. You can state your point in a manner that both parties can hear. When you are authentic in a relationship you can always share what you believe in. It’s all in how you present any discussion.
“The truest form of love is how you behave toward someone, not how you feel about them.” ~ Steve Hall — Source