Two Women Were In Heaven Talking About How They Died. What They Concluded… OH BOY!


Two women were talking in Heaven. Hi, Sylvia! How’d you die?I froze to death.How horrible said the other woman!It wasn’t so bad replied Sylvia.

After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy. Eventually I died a peaceful death. What about you?

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack.I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early so that I could catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched. Then I scurried down into the basement.

After that, I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere! Finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn’t look in the freezer. We’d both still be alive.

 

Don’t Step On The Ducks

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.

When they get there, St. Peter says, “We only have one rule here in heaven: don’t step on the ducks!”

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.

St. Peter chains them together and says, “Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!”

The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn’t miss a thing.

With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on… very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The happy woman says, “I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?”

The guy says, “I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a duck!”


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