The biggest disappointments in our lives are often the result of misplaced expectations. This is especially true when it comes to our relationships and interactions with others.
Tempering your expectations of other people will greatly reduce unnecessary frustration and suffering, in both your life and theirs, and help you refocus on the things that truly matter.
1. Stop expecting them to know what you’re thinking.
You can not expect someone else to understand what you think if you can not express your thoughts. Understanding our own thoughts is more important than seeking the opinions of others. Start being honest with yourself – what you think, how you feel, what you want. Then you can start communicating with others.
2. Stop expecting them to suddenly change.
If someone in your life has a certain quality that you hope will eventually disappear, it is important to know that this will probably not happen. If a significant change is needed for the friendship or relationship to continue, you must make it clear and honest and tell them what you need.
However, as mentioned above, it is not helpful to limit the people in your model to what you feel should be. Therefore, you should not usually try to change people. If you can not accept them as they are, you could be better off in our lives.
It is interesting to note that when we accept and love others, it is more than likely that it changes and that it develops positively.
3. Stop expecting them to respect you more than you respect yourself.
Respect starts from the inside. So, if you want to be respected, you must do what you need to respect yourself: live in a way that demonstrates self-esteem. Do you want to speak to a respected friend as you talk to yourself? Your treatment of yourself sets the standards of how others treat you.
4. Stop expecting them to fit your idea of who they are.
Basically, you no longer have to expect others to fit your idea of who they are. Keeping track of who you want to be is not only disappointing, but also a lack of respect for the true identity of others.
If you love someone, let him be himself and appreciate him for his authentic self. By agreeing to not know everything about someone, you really get to know them better, which leads to more meaningful and connected relationships.
5. Stop expecting them to agree with you.
If you are the type of person who wants people to agree with everything you say when you speak … get ready for a lot of disappointment. Most people have their own thoughts and opinions and it is unrealistic to expect them to constantly agree with yours. Do what you can to convince them with data, research and facts, but do not assume they will or should always agree.
6. Stop expecting them to be “OK.”
Just as you have your own inner struggles, so do all those you meet. If you expect others to be on a straight line all the time, you will not realize that they are as complex and nuanced as you are.
Dress others, give them compassion and see if they are doing really well (rather than assuming they are). Although you should not devote all your resources to caring for others, mutually supportive relationships open the door to a happier life and more meaningful personal development. However, this can only happen if you are ready to go beyond the old assumption that everyone is fine.