Man on phone: “Honey I’ve been asked to go fishing in China with my boss for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get the promotion. So could you please pack enough clothes for a week, set out my rod and fishing box. We’re leaving from office and I’ll swing by the house to pick my things. Oh, Please pack my new blue silk pyjamas!”
The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy, but being a good wife she did exactly as her husband said.
The following weekend he came home a little tired but looking good.
The wife welcomed him and asked if he caught many fish?
He said “Yes, Lots of Salmon, Blue gill and a few Swordfish. But why didn’t u pack my blue silk pyjamas?”
You’ll love the answer..!!
She says, “I did… They’re in your fishing box”
…. Game over !!
Best Divorce Letter Ever
Break up’s are always nasty, and divorce is even worse! I mean they can get nasty, just as this one did, when this Ex Husband left his wife for HER SISTER! He wrote the most awful letter – which made me so mad, I felt SO sorry for his wife…until I read her response. You must read these letters! And you must read them to the very end!
BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years and I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell.… Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favourite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me any more; you don’t want s.e.x or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me any more; whatever the case, I’m gone.
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you and I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’
Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favourite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could work it out.
So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job and bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem.