In the late teens and early twenties, I had a tunnel vision and was expecting life to unfold in a certain way. I studied my mistakes until I lost sight of my successes. I abandoned my dreams to feel a sense of comfort. I clung to my fears and protected myself from love and happiness by refusing to show myself outside. And as I did all this, I leaned back and wondered why life was so miserable.
I was obviously very lost. My own poisoned beliefs and the following behaviors got the better of me. After extensive soul research, readings, and diligent daily exercises, I learned to do things differently and found myself. I tell you because I know that you struggle with similar inner demons, we all do it. Sometimes the ideas and habits with which we feel comfortable end up killing each other internally.
As an experienced life coach, who has trained thousands of people online and offline for more than 10 years, I realize that many of the harmful beliefs I fought with earlier in life are actually quite common . I literally experienced the same poisoned beliefs in new customer life over and over again. Here are eight of the most common things you should keep in mind:
1. The present points to the future.
When things are not going well, we tend to extrapolate and assume that the future is more buoyant. For some strange reason, it does not happen so often when things are going well. A smile, a smile and a feeling of warmth and blur are fleeting and we know it. At the moment, we are having good times for all that they are worth, and then we let them go. But when we are depressed, struggling or anxious, it is easy to be more painful if we assume that tomorrow will be like today. It is a cyclical, self-fulfilling prophecy. If you do not go beyond what has been said, what has been felt, you will look at your future through the same polluted goal, and nothing will focus your nebulous judgment. Again and again, they will justify, revive and promote a perception that should not exist.
2. It’s too late to make changes.
Life is not a straight line. There is no good way for you or for others. And there is no set schedule for milestones. But sometimes, peer pressure, family, work and society in general is enough to make us feel completely broken inside. If we do not have the right job, the good relationship, the good lifestyle, etc., until a certain age or a certain amount of time, we assume that we are somehow broken. And that’s not true at all. You have extra time when you need it. You can go back there. You can discover what inspires you at different stages of your life. Life is supposed to be a series of zigs and zags. It should look like chaos, but a nice mess. No matter what situation you are in, you simply know that it can change if you wish. It’s yours. Just turn around and choose something new.
3. Being vulnerable is dangerous.
We are all afraid to say too much, to feel too deep, to let people know what they mean to us. It’s not healthy. Love is a vulnerability. Happiness is a vulnerability. The risk of being vulnerable is the price to open for beauty and opportunity. Being vulnerable does not mean showing the parts of you that are polite; It’s about revealing the unpolished parts you’d rather hide in the world. It’s about looking at the world with an honest and open heart and saying, “It’s me, take me or leave me!” However, it’s hard to give up and be so vulnerable because the stakes are high. But remember, nothing in this world is a sure thing. Love and happiness flow from our willingness to be vulnerable – to open up to something wonderful that could be taken away – when you hide from your vulnerability, you automatically hide yourself from everything you want.
4. Being alone is a problem.
False! If you do not like who you are, if you are with another person, that’s the real problem, and it’s time to change things. Relationships must be chosen wisely. Do not leave loneliness in the arms of someone you know you do not belong to.
5. Install is a good thing.
Sometimes people often ask, “Who should I think I can do that?” If you were to say, “Who should I think of, I can not?” Ignore your doubts. Forget the editing. Stand out! Think about it. If you spent your whole life focusing on what others thought about you, would you forget who you really are? And if it turned out that the face you showed to the world was a mask … without anything below? That’s when you spend all your time being the one you think he wants you to be. Do not sell too short. Do not save your face and lose your soul. It does not make the world. There is no need to reduce so that others do not feel in danger. They should shine in a way that only you can. You are born to manifest all the glory in you. And when you let your light shine, you unconsciously give others permission to do the same. When you are free from your own fear of standing out, your presence also automatically releases your environment.
6. There is a perfect XYZ for me.
As human beings, we often look for hypothetical and static states of perfection. We do it when we are looking for home, work, friend, lover, etc. The problem, of course, is that perfection does not exist in a static state. Because life is a constant journey that evolves and changes constantly. What is here today is not exactly the same tomorrow: a house, a job, a friend or a perfect lover will go to imperfection. With a little patience and openness, the imperfect home will eventually become a comfortable home. This imperfect job is becoming a rewarding career. This imperfect friend develops into a solid shoulder on which to lean. And this imperfect lover becomes a reliable companion for life. It’s just a question of perfectionism.
7. What everyone does with you is personal.
People are toxic to themselves and to others when they believe that anything happening in the world directly attacks them or treats them in any way. The truth is that what others tell you and do is a lot more about them than you. People’s reactions to you are related to their perspectives, their injuries and their life experiences. When people think you are incredible or average, it’s more about them. I do not suggest that we are narcissistic and ignore any return. I say that a lot of suffering, disappointment and sadness in our lives comes from taking things personally. In most cases, it is far more productive and healthy to leave out the good or bad opinions of others about you and act as your guide with your own intuition and wisdom.
8. You should never be sad.
The desire for lasting happiness only makes us unhappy. Because nothing is constant in life. There is neither absolute happiness nor absolute sadness. Only mood changes oscillate between these two extremes. Each moment we compare what we feel, what we feel at another time, comparing one level of our satisfaction with another. In this way, those of us who have felt great sadness feel more able to feel an increased sense of happiness after being emotionally cured. We must know the misery to recognize marriages. The key to everyday life, however, is that you have to live your life to the full. Live ups and downs, positives and negatives and all the moods that separate them. Do not focus only on happiness. Concentrate on a mature life. Concentrate on completeness. Yes, happiness is part of this wholeness, but also sadness, difficulty, frustration and failure. Overcoming these points supports your personal growth more than constant happiness.
The soil belongs to you …
If you can identify with any of these poisoned beliefs, remember that you are not alone. We have all buried in ourselves unhealthy thoughts and inclinations that have the potential to sneak in sometimes. As mentioned above, the key is awareness – recognizing these beliefs and correcting them before they become involved in your daily routine.
Which of these poison beliefs sometimes invades you? What other toxic beliefs did you remember? How did you finish?