Don’t Step on the Ducks


Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.

When they get there, St. Peter says, “We have only one rule here in heaven: don’t step on the ducks!”

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, “Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!”

The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn’t miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has seen all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes
up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on… very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.

Saint Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says, “I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?”

The guy says, “I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a duck!”

 

Blonde Woman Asks For A $5000 Loan

A blonde woman goes to a bank in New York before going on vacation and asks for a loan of $5,000.

The banker asks, “Okay, miss, is there anything you would like to use as collateral?”

The woman says, “Yes, of course. I’ll use my Rolls Royce.”

The banker, stunned, asks, “A $250,000 Rolls Royce? Really?”

The woman is absolutely positive. She hands over the keys, as the bankers and loan officers mock her. They check her credentials, make sure she is the title owner. Everything checks out. They park it for two weeks in your underground car park.

When she comes back, she pays off the $5,000 loan as well as the $15.41 interest.

The loan officer says, “Miss, we are very appreciative of your business with us, but I have one question. We looked you up and found out that you are a multi-millionaire. Why would you want to borrow $5,000?”

The woman replies, “Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”