After nearly 50 years of marriage, a couple was in bed one night when the woman felt her husband start massaging her in ways he hadn’t in quite some time.
It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back.
He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down, stopping just over her stomach.
Then he put his hand on his left arm, slid along his side and gently stroked his buttocks and leg to his calf.. Then, he proceeded up her thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent.
As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, ‘Honey that was wonderful. Why did you stop?’ To which he responded: ‘I found the remote.’…
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See more: Cop Pulls Over An Old Lady, Quickly Learn Not To Mess With A Elderly Smart Woman
This hilarious story will teach you not to interact with older people because they have all the knowledge and experience of the world and you can easily learn a lesson. The amusing return of this old lady to the officer who took her is the best thing you can read all day.
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding…
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
Officer: Don’t have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see….Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can’t do that. Officer: Why not.
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The officer looks at the woman, slowly walks back to her car and asks for help. In a few minutes, 5 police cars make the tour of the car. An elderly officer slowly approaches the car and grabs his half-fired weapon.
Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
Moral: Don’t mess with little old ladies!