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An Irish Dad Calls His Son

An Irish dad calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, “I hate ruining your day, but I have to tell you that your mom and I are getting a divorce.”

“Dad, what are you talking about?” The son is screaming.

“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” said the father. “We’re sick of each other and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.”

The son calls his sister who screams on the phone. “What, they’re getting divorced!” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this!”

She immediately called Ireland and shouted at her father, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do anything until I’m there. I’ll call my brother back and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then do nothing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Sorted! They’re coming for Christmas – and they’re paying their own way.”

Three Sons Return Home to Mom

Three sons left home, went out on their own, and prospered.

They discussed the gifts they could give their elderly mother.

The first one said: “I have built a big house for our mother”.

The second said: “I sent her a Mercedes with a driver.”

The third one said, “You remember how our mother loves reading the Bible. Now she can’t see well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the whole Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot recites it.”

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A Wise Old Gentleman Retired

Soon after, their mother sent out her letters of thanks.

“William,” she said, “the house you built is so huge. I only live in one room, but I have to clean the whole house.”

“Arnold,” she said, “I’m too old to travel. I stay home most of the time, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And that driver is so rude! He’s a pain!”

“But David,” she said, “the chicken was delicious!”

LOL!!!

Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!

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