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Fooling Oneself.

An overweight business associate of mine decided it was time to shed some excess pounds.

He took his new diet seriously, even changing his driving route to avoid his favourite bakery.

One morning, however, he arrived at work carrying a gigantic coffee cake. We all scolded him, but his smile remained cherubic.

“This is a very special coffee cake,” he explained.

“I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning, and there in the window was a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed, ‘Lord, if you want me to have one of those delicious coffee cakes, let me have a parking place directly in front of the bakery.’

“And sure enough,” he continued, “the eighth time around the block, there it was!”

Do you like cake?

A blond becomes terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet.

“I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.”

When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.

“Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor said, “Did you follow my instructions?”

The blonde nodded… “I’ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.”

“From hunger, you mean?”, asked the doctor.”

“No, from skipping everywhere.”

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