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Best Marriage Jokes Ever


A third-grade teacher is getting to know her students on the first day of school.

She turns to a little girl and says, “What does your daddy do?’

The girl replies, ‘Whatever Mummy tells him to.’



A couple drove several miles on a country road without saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,

“Relatives of yours?”

“Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”


The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked,

“You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket.

Can you talk to me for a few minutes ”


“Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere.”


A man says to his friend, “I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.”

The friend says, “Why not?”

The man says, “I don’t like to interrupt her.”


A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted.”

The next day he received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”


One night, a man walks into a bar looking sad. The bartender asks the man what he wants.

The man says, “Oh just a beer”.

The bartender asked the man, “What’s wrong, why are you so down today?”

The man said, “My wife and I had a fight, and she said she wouldn’t talk to me for a month.”

The bartender said, “So what’s wrong with that?”

Only People With Unique Observational Skills Can Spot This Hidden Image!

The man said, “Well the month is up tonight”.


My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last.

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant and have a little wine and good food.

She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.


Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!

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