A third-grade teacher is getting to know her students on the first day of school.
She turns to a little girl and says, “What does your daddy do?’
The girl replies, ‘Whatever Mummy tells him to.’
A couple drove several miles on a country road without saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
“Relatives of yours?”
“Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”
The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked,
“You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket.
Can you talk to me for a few minutes ”
“Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere.”
A man says to his friend, “I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.”
The friend says, “Why not?”
The man says, “I don’t like to interrupt her.”
A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted.”
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”
One night, a man walks into a bar looking sad. The bartender asks the man what he wants.
The man says, “Oh just a beer”.
The bartender asked the man, “What’s wrong, why are you so down today?”
The man said, “My wife and I had a fight, and she said she wouldn’t talk to me for a month.”
The bartender said, “So what’s wrong with that?”
The man said, “Well the month is up tonight”.
My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last.
Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant and have a little wine and good food.
She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!