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Best Marriage Jokes Ever


A third-grade teacher is getting to know her students on the first day of school.

She turns to a little girl and says, “What does your daddy do?’

The girl replies, ‘Whatever Mummy tells him to.’



A couple drove several miles on a country road without saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,

“Relatives of yours?”

“Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”


The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked,

“You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket.

Can you talk to me for a few minutes ”


“Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere.”


A man says to his friend, “I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.”

The friend says, “Why not?”

The man says, “I don’t like to interrupt her.”


A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted.”

The next day he received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”


One night, a man walks into a bar looking sad. The bartender asks the man what he wants.

The man says, “Oh just a beer”.

The bartender asked the man, “What’s wrong, why are you so down today?”

The man said, “My wife and I had a fight, and she said she wouldn’t talk to me for a month.”

The bartender said, “So what’s wrong with that?”

The man said, “Well the month is up tonight”.


My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last.

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant and have a little wine and good food.

She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.


Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!

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