At one point during a game,
the coach called one of his 7-year-old hockey players aside and asked,
“Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?” The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
“Do you understand that what matters is not whether we win or lose, but how we play together as a team?” The little boy nodded yes.
“So,” the coach continued, “I’m sure you know, when a penalty is called, you shouldn’t argue, curse, attack the referee, or call him a pecker-head.”
“Do you understand all that?” Again the little boy nodded.
He continued, “And when I call you off the ice so that another boy gets a chance to play, it’s not good sportsmanship to call your coach ‘a dumb a–hole’, is it?” Again the little boy nodded.
“Good,” said the coach. “Now go over there and explain all that to your mother.”
Three couples check into a hotel for their honeymoons.
The man at the front desk has a game he likes to play.
When the first couple checked in, he asked the bride what her job was. She said she was a maid. The man thought to himself “Maids are hot. This guy’s going to have a fun honeymoon.”
When the next couple checked in, he asked the bride the same question. She told him she was a nurse. The man at the front desk thought “nurses are even s*xier. This guy’s going to get laid.”
The third couple checked in right after. The same question was asked. The bride said she was a high school teacher. The man behind the desk scoffed. “Teachers are so strict.” He thought. “They’ll probably go right to bed.”
Just an hour later, the first groom came down to eat. “Already? I thought you’d be spending the night with your new wife.” Said the man
“I tried!” Replied the groom. “But she insisted on tidying up the room.”
Another hour passed, and the second groom came down to get some food. The man asked “What are you doing down here so early?”
And the groom said “Every time I tried to m*ke love to her, she just told me I wasn’t clean enough.”
The man expected the third groom to come down soon, but he never did. He waited for hours and how’s. Right near the end of his shift, the man finally saw the third groom come down, looking extremely tired.
“There you are!” Said the man. “Did you get enough sleep?”
“I never slept.” Replied the groom.